Sunday, January 8, 2012

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  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown

    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz

    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis


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  • When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn


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  • Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold



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  • Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown

    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew





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  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby




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  • Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller


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  • Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter

    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope


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  • Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter



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  • First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown

    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing





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  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown

    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland




    Saturday, January 7, 2012

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  • Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown


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  • Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown


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  • Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson

    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown

    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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  • It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons





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  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni

    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968