Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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