Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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