The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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